March 21, 2012

Heather is with the Angels Now

Hi everyone,

As most of you know already, our precious Heather passed away shortly after midnight on Monday morning, March 19th. She slipped away peacefully with our family and Chris beside her, holding her hands and telling her how much we all love her. For two years, Heather fought this torturous and relentless disease with grace and dignity and while there are no words to describe our heartbreak, we find some comfort in knowing that she is no longer suffering.

We are overwhelmed by the tremendous outpouring of love we have received since her passing and want to assure you, there is no way we could get through this without all of your messages, stories, photos, flowers, gifts and support. Heather is no doubt smiling down on each and every one of us and feeling all your love from a beautiful and peaceful place.

Memorial services for Heather will be held on Friday, March 30th at 10am at St. Michaels's Church at 469 North Street Greenwich, CT. There will be no wake or viewing hours in advance of this service. In lieu of gifts/flowers, please make a donation to either The Heather Hickey Fund via this website or The Bendheim Cancer Center at 77 Lafayette Place Greenwich, CT.

With all the love in our hearts,
The Hickey Family


  1. My Heart is with all of you ,especially you grace,i'ts been years since I saw you at Darlene Ryders house when the kids were little at her pool,i remember heather always had a bow in her hair and my only daughter Anna had a bob,lol,but the girls stayed close,and remained good friends,my thoughts and prayers are with you all,Margy ferm

  2. I always loved reading Heather's post - her courage, strength, bubbly personality and words of wisdom always shined through and always left me in awe - such an inspiration and such a fighter. I almost wasn't going to make a comment but as I made a comment on almost every single post she ever wrote, I couldn't let her down on this one!

    Sending you lots of love and strength in this difficult time. Heather has been such an inspiration for so many and will continue to be. xxoo

  3. A true warrior. I didn't know Heather, but came to know her through this blog and my friend Jen. May peace be with Heddy and her family and friends during this difficult time.


previous posts

2011-03-28T11:13:08.857-07:00 Back to Reality... Hello All!

Well today is my first day back to work full time!!! I can't believe that almost 7 months has gone by since I've been here, man, a lot changes. Quite honestly I felt as if I were walking into my first day of work at a completely new company. There were more faces I didn't know than I did know, so many people who I loved working with are now gone, and what's most disturbing is that I don't even really know what my position is here anymore!!!! It seems that because I was gone for so long they had to replace me in my previous role because it was so important that they had someone covering that portion of the business and it needed to be someone who the customers were comfortable with, and now that they are, they don't want to change it again. So, I'm patiently waiting to have a meeting where I will find out what it is I will be doing moving forward. All I can say is thank God my company was kind enough to keep a position open for me, whatever it may be, because the job market still is not as active as we would all like it to be and I thank god every day that I am still employed. And alive of course. :)

So how am I doing physically?? Well, I woke up just fine this morning, no anxiety, woke up to my alarm at 6:30am and snoozed for a little bit and then was up and out of bed at 6:45, had breakfast (which I NEVER EVER do), and then took a shower and was out the door! It's now 11:15 and my aches and pains are starting to kick in so I took my extended release pain med pill to see if that helps to ease some of the discomfort. I'm also drinking a tea just in case I get a little drowsy, which is unlikely since I'm so used to these things now.

Everyone who does know me from before all seem very excited and happy to see me back at work which makes me feel really great and supported. You always have that fear that you'll come back to work after having been gone for so long and people will be bitter at you or something, and think that you've been off lounging on the beach somewhere, which we all know, is not at all true in my case. But, I didn't get that feeling at all from my co-workers here, and my boss even brought me flowers and a coffee cake to welcome me back. That truly warmed my heart.

All in all it was a good day back to work. I feel so much more like myself being back around people on a daily basis and having a reason to wake up in the morning.

Thanks to all my co-workers out there for making my first day back as easy and bearable as possible.

Talk to y'all soon!
-H chickey 2011-03-15T13:21:19.461-07:00 Happy Birthday to me!!! Hello Everyone!!!!

My goodness it's been a LONG time since my last post. I will try to keep this post as brief as possible to update you on my condition, progress, etc.

Last I wrote was just at the New Year. Since then I had some blood tests done in January that came back extremely positive, showing my cancer level had gone down to an all time low of 1.5 (remember that a 5 and below is normal), and my liver had completely healed, the enzyme count was all the way down to a 0.9!! This was all very encouraging news because I had been not feeling so great and was worried about my liver, and would literally walk around feeling like I was going to go into liver failure at the drop of a hat. It's weird, feeling like you're on the verge of dying all the time, and for some reason I convinced myself that I was for a long time, but getting back those blood test results was very positive and it seemed that soon enough I would be fully recovered and ready to get back to my normal life.

On February 15th I went in for my 3 month CT scan check-up [I have to have scans every 3 months, in addition to bloodwork, to make sure that there are no cancer cells growing). I felt pretty positive going in for the test, that it was just routine and everything would be fine. Unfortunately when I got the results back, it seemed that they had found something in my scan that looked suspicious. My oncologist said that at first glance, there appeared to be either an inflammation of some kind, or it was small metasteses [or cancerous lesions] that had grown back in my left abdominal cavity in the 3 months since my last scan. She wanted to have a more senior radiologist look at the scan before determining one of 3 options: a, it was just a small inflammation that needed to heal; b, it was possibly cancer but they needed to biopsy it; or c, it was indeed cancer and we would need to come up with a plan of action. Of course this was such a HUGE bummer to me because I really thought that I was improving and I was really on the road to a full recovery, and to hear that I might have cancer again was such a let down I was incredibly upset, angry, frustrated and sad all at once. LUCKILY, she called me after the long President's Day Weekend and said that the senior radiologist had reviewed the scan and determined that it is indeed just an inflammation that had occurred during recovery, and it wasn't cancer. YAY!!! This was great news, however, she did say that I now needed to let the inflammation heal so I needed more recovery time.

Additionally, it seems that I have not ever fully recovered from the Pulmonary Embolism in my left lung, and in fact my lungs and breathing function have been permanently impaired. They still can't tell me what is wrong, they treated me for Pneumonia with antibiotics, they do not see ANY forms of cancer, or any indications of another blood clot. So basically, the condition of my lungs and breathing is one big question mark which is unbelievably frustrating for me. In May I will go in for my next CT scan, and in addition to that they will run a number of breathing function and stress tests on me to see if they can't figure out what the problem is, because right now I am not breathing properly, or to the full function that my lungs should be. It's actually quite scary because there will be moments that I will actually catch myself not breathing at all, or I can feel myself not getting air and it's a very very scary and terrifying feeling, almost like you're suffocating for no reason.

As far as the rest of my recovery goes, each day is a new day. Some days are good, others are bad. I still suffer from extreme fatigue and sleep at least 4-5 or 6 hours a day, in addition to my 10-12 hour sleep at night. I also continue to suffer from the joint and bone pains, which they have identified is a longterm side effect of the chemotherapy I went through before surgery. It actually is getting worse, and some days I can barely walk or move, but my oncologists and general internist feel that this should clear up and I will recover from it, it's just going to take much longer than they had expected in the beginning.

So, overall a recovery period that I thought would only be about 4-5 months is now going on 7-8 months and the doctors think I probably won't start really feeling a lot better until 12-13 months. It's discouraging to hear that, but all I can do is stay positive and keep fighting and doing my best to feel better. I keep doing my part by eating healthy, trying my best to stay as active as possible, and keep my mind busy so that I don't get negative or depressed. Unfortunately, because my recovery has turned out to be much more difficult than I had imagined and my doctors had initially speculated, I am still not back to work and am still on disability. I can't wait to get back to work, I think and I know that once I get back to my routine and my life as it was before, things will start to get easier, but I'm just not ready physically, mentally or emotionally.

So, that's the update on my health. It may sound depressing, but it's really not, life goes on!!! I'm continuing to stay busy somehow though because time just seems to FLY by me now. Some really fun things we've done recently was celebrate Chris's birthday with a really fun party at our house on Superbowl Sunday, that was a great time, the wedding planning for Courtney continues to get more and more exciting as the date gets closer and closer, so I cannot wait for that! My best friend Erin from college came down to visit with me after not seeing eachother for almost 3 years, and it was so fantastic to see her. We had the best time just laughing and catching up, it was like we never left one another. And, now today is my birthday!!!!! It's funny because I've never been a big birthday person, never cared about my birthday, until this year. I was actually really happy to turn a year older. :o) I had a wonderful birthday this year. My sister, my boyfriend Chris, and my dear friend Cathy all planned a really fun birthday dinner for me and then surprised me with a small party after dinner at Ernie's in Darien. It was so special that people made the effort to come out and celebrate my birthday with me, and I had a fantastic time. I have an amazing family, boyfriend and friends who I am so so grateful for. Thanks to everyone who came out and made my birthday such a special day this year. I love you all!!!

So that is pretty much it for now! I thank you all for your birthday wishes and for continuing to support me, and for always sending prayers and encouragement my way. Even though it's been almost a year now since my first diagnosis, and life does go on, I still live with the aftermath of the disease every day and the fear that it will come back again. However, I continue to stay positive for everyone out there who continues to believe in me that I will be just fine, and I will continue to have happy birthdays like this one, for many many years to come.

Sending much love to you all, and I will post another update soon.
And, Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!!

-Heddy chickey 2011-01-01T10:15:57.136-08:00 Looking back and moving forward... A lot of people might think that I am incredibly relieved to have 2010 be over, and you might think that I will always remember it as "the year I got Cancer"... Let me share with you a few highlights of what I remember about 2010...

In 2010 I spent 12 days in Italy with great friends from work and had an incredibly successful event.

In 2010 year my sister got engaged to the love of her life

In 2010 I went back and visited Nantucket after 10 years and was reminded how magical and special a place it is to me

In 2010 I finally got the new car I've been dreaming about getting for years

In 2010 I went to Block Island for the first time ever and LOVED it!

In 2010 one of my very best friends, Maggie, gave birth to the sweetest baby girl I've ever met (and who I can't wait to spoil like crazy for the rest of her life).

In 2010 I spent 4 fun-filled days alone with Chris in Vegas for my 32nd birthday as a gift from my sweetheart

In 2010 the San Francisco Giants won the World Series for the first time in 50 years or something, but I will never forget the smile on Chris's face that night.

In 2010 I had an event which brought my entire family together for the first time in over 10 years.

In 2010 I realized how loved I am and how many friends I have all over the globe.

In 2010 I accepted the fact that I don't have to do everything for everyone else, and I must always put myself first... I understand that I make decisions for myself, nobody else does.

In 2010 I stopped living every day wanting something more, and finally realized I have everything I could ever want and I have an amazing life.

In 2010 I realized how truly blessed I am for the family God gave me. I don't think my life would have purpose without them.

And finally, as far as I'm concerned, 2010 wasn't the year I "got" cancer, but it was the year I BEAT cancer. And not just any cancer, Stage 4 colon cancer and a prognosis of 3 years to live maximum, so essentially, I beat the odds... And man, does it feel GREAT!!!!!!

There is NO way I could have gotten this far without the prayers, thoughts, hugs, and in some cases tears from all of you. I realize how many people have supported me, near and far, best friends and strangers and this was in my opinion, the strongest medicine of all against this nasty disease.

I enter 2011 and view it as a blank page, a clean slate, and an entirely new beginning. I can't change or take back what I've been through but honestly, I wouldn't want to. I've learned more about life and how I should live it in the past 7 months, than I have in any class or any book, and I plan to use all of that experience and lead a more successful and happy life.

I want to share what I've been through with anyone and everyone - whoever wants to hear it. Maybe I could even help someone going through the same difficult journey, which would bring me great joy and accomplishment.

I wish everyone a very Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year. And remember, life is shorter than we think so I leave you with these simple insights:

"DANCE as though no one is watching;
LOVE as though you've never been hurt before;
SING as though no one can hear you;
LIVE as though heaven is on earth.

Much love to all, and I hope I manage to cross paths with all of you at some point very soon.
-Heather chickey 2010-12-17T07:40:31.876-08:00 Happy Holidays!!
Dear Family and Friends,

HI!! It's been a few weeks since I've posted an entry and wanted to update everyone on what's been going on with me lately.

Well, I spent a lovely Thanksgiving in Florida with my mom, dad and brother. I was able to relax for a week and get some sun and be away from all of the stress and worries back at home. Regardless, I was able to put all of that stress aside for a week and just enjoy my time with my family and eat A LOT!!!

When I returned from FL I had a post surgery scan of my chest, abdomen and pelvis as well as some bloodwork done to check my progress. As it always seems to be, when there is good news, there is always a little bit of bad news that goes along with it.

The results of my scan came back looking, for the most part, good. They couldn't see any cancer cells remaining at all in the piece of liver that they left inside of me, which is great news. Additionally, my cancer marker continues to drop, it's now at a 1.5 which is WONDERFUL!! This more or less means I am cancer free! This is practically a miracle since 6 months ago I was told that even with treatment I would have at most 3 years to live, so I'm very happy with this news and have all of you to thank for keeping my spirits going all this time. Had I not stayed as positive as I did I think the outcome would've been quite different, so thank you everyone for standing by me.

One thing they did find however, was some fluid in my liver. The amount of fluid is very little so they did not feel it was necessary to drain it, which was a relief to me, however it's a condition that could become potentially dangerous if I don't follow the doctor's instructions very carefully. Basically what it comes down to at this point is diet. I need to focus on eating as much protein as possible, so lots of meat, whole grains, etc. Obviously this is difficult for a girl who loves her Taco Bell trips every now and then!! But, I've gotten in touch with a nutritionist who will work closely with me and help me to choose foods that will help me get the nutrients I need to heal, but that I also can stand the taste of eating.

So, I asked my doctor then about the next round of chemotherapy since I thought I would have started it by now. Unfortunately my oncologist says that I just haven't healed quite as well as they had expected me to, and my body is still incredibly vulnerable and fragile, especially the liver, so they are afraid that if they start me on the chemo now, it will completely knock me out and I will be right back where I was when I first came out of the hospital after surgery which was miserable. So, at this point as far as my treatment goes, I'm in a bit of a holding pattern. I need to focus on healing by eating well, doing light activity (like yoga), and trying to stay as stress free as possible over the next month. Great timing for the stress free part since we are knee deep in the holiday madness now!

My biggest concern/stress lately has been finances. I asked my doctor, well practically begged, if I could go back to work ASAP, but unfortunately they are not comfortable sending me back to work because my body isn't completely healed yet and my doctor feels that I could go to work for maybe one hour and then need to take a rest, so I just don't have the energy to be working full-time yet he feels. What is most unfortunate about the whole situation is that I haven't received a single payment from disability in the 3 and a half months I've been on leave. If it weren't for the Heather Hickey Fund, the Hope for Heddy Fundraiser, and the small amount of money I had put away in my savings, I would be close to homeless at this point. So, I want to send a HUGE thank you to all of you who donated in some way... Your generosity is helping me more than even I could ever have imagined it would. I am trying to work out the issues with our company who provides the disability coverage, but as I'm sure you can all imagine, that is NOT easy and I seem to get nowhere. Since my return to work date still seems to be indefinite at this point, I hope that it'll be resolved sooner rather than later.

Anyway, enough about that. Lately I'm really starting to feel a bit better each day, almost to the point that I'm back to my old self! I'm still on a lot of medications (including the shots in my stomach, ugh), but I'm getting back more and more energy each day which is great.

I'm very much looking forward to a relaxing Christmas at home with Chris and my sister and Kevin. I will miss seeing my mom, dad, Sharon and Dave, but we've all been through so much these past 6 months, I think that we all deserve a little bit of down time to relax and reflect on how lucky we are, and how far we've come.

I wish all of you out there a very happy holiday season, and a happy, HEALTHY New Year. 2011 is sure to bring good things for us all, I can feel it.

Thanks for the continued support and encouragement, I love you all!!

-Heather chickey 2010-10-27T14:48:20.838-07:00 Long overdue update.... Dear family and friends...

Hi to everyone! It has been weeks since I've posted an update and a LOT has happened in that time, I finally now feel ready to share my experiences over the past few weeks with you all.

First, let me say that many of you have reached out to me in email, facebook, cards, gifts, flowers.. And I want those people to know that none of that has gone unnoticed or unappreciated whatsoever. I thank you ALL for the continued support and encouragement... It is helping me now, more than you can possibly imagine, so please know you are making a huge impact on my spirits, and I thank you.

Now, down to the details.... On October 7th I went into the operating room for the biggest surgery of my life. I had the right half of my colon, the right half of my liver, my gall bladder, appendix and some lymphnodes around the area, all removed. This in itself is about 5 pounds of organs. Heading into the operating room was absolutely TERRIFYING. You can't imagine how alone and vulnerable you become. I'm putting my life in the hands of strangers who are just throwing my body around on a tiny plastic table. Before I knew it though, everything went black. I remember waking up and I was being moved onto another bed and wheeled away. I remember looking down at my stomach and seeing a big white bandage going down the whole thing. I remember thinking, holy hell this hurts.

They put me in the recovery room, I don't know if I slept or what, its a complete and utter blur. I do remember waking up and asking for my family and they brought them in for like, 30 seconds and then wisked them away so I could "rest". In the middle of the night all of a sudden I'm moving again and being transported to my room. I was first placed in a shared room with quite possibly the rudest woman in the whole world. I was so upset. I was alone and terrified, and the nurses and doctor's were, for lack of a better word, RUDE. I requested a transfer to my own room, and I think I actually got it, because I was really sick.

The day or so after the surgery my liver did a little flip out, I think it went into shock really and my liver enzymes shot up to a 10 (they're supposed to be less than 1) and I was completely jaundice and the doctor's had a little panic attack. They quickly readjusted all my medications and started monitoring me very very closely. After about 24 hours I stabilized and things started to look more positive.

I was in the hospital for 1 week to the day of my surgery. It was quite possibly the most un-relaxing and most stressful times of my life. Nurses and doctors in and out in and out starting at 4 am and going all day. Blood taken 3 times a day, finger pricked 4 times a day, people forcing you out of bed walking around constantly. It was hell really, and I have to give the Memorial Sloan Kettering hospital probably a 4 out of 10 for that hospital stay. It was uncomfortable, scary, and the nurses were terrible. So they released me on Thursday October 14th. I was SO happy to be home in my house with my things and my bed and everything. That was, until the fevers started.

About 4 days after being home I found myself awake all night every night with fevers around 101. First I went to my oncologist here in Greenwich and he gave me an antibiotic for a lung infection. I was so hopeful that after a day or 2 I'd be feeling better. No such luck.

On Saturday the 23rd I woke up with a fever of 101 again, so this time I called my liver surgeon and spoke to one of his fellows on call (actually the guy had been my personal doctor the whole time I was in the hospital so he was very familiar with my case and me). He said I had to rush myself to the MSKCC urgent care immediately for a catscan because I could have an abscess in my stomach or liver that burst and was leaking fluids. I'm freaking out at this point. I'm basically convincing myself this is it, I'm gonna die of some crazy complication from surgery and it will all have been a huge waste. We got to the urgent care and they checked me in and had me speak to the doctor there. They did more blood tests then I can ever explain. Poking and prodding me for about 2 hours. I was totally beside myself, I mean I lost it. I was hysterically bawling. I just couldn't take it anymore!!! I wanted to know what was wrong with me once and for all!!! So, they decided oh, while we are at it, why not test your urine... So, 8 bottles of blood, 4 needles, one emotional breakdown and 6 hours later, I was told I had a urinary tract infection so they would let me go home on another antibiotic and I had to watch the fevers. I'm happy to report that I have not had a fever again since then, and have started to feel better and better each day.

All in all, the past 3 weeks since I had the surgery have been by far the worst 3 weeks in my entire 32 years of life. I was crying non-stop, every day for days on end. At one point I said to myself, screw this I can't and don't want to do this anymore, I'd rather just ride the cancer out as long as I can but I'm done with getting any more treatment and if that means I live for 3 years, well, so be it. Then I remember how many people are out there pulling for me and saying prayers, and I realize I'm just being a self-pitying brat and I can get thru this, just as I've gotten thru everything else up until now.

So, here I am, 3 weeks later from surgery and sloooooowly getting myself back. I still cannot drive so I've been sort of confined to the house, but I have to allow my body the time it needs to heal. If I've learned anything from this, its that you must must always listen to your body. It will tell you if something is wrong and what it needs. So I don't plan to push myself to be back to my old self quicker than my body is willing to allow.

To conclude (since I've gone on and on now) one very exciting piece of news to share is that although the recovery might be hell for me, the surgery was a compete success. I can say today with complete certainty that at this present moment I have no cancer left in my body, so yes, technically I'm cancer free!!! There is still a loooooong way to go with the treatment and recovery (I will start 4-6 more months of chemo in the next couple of weeks, as a precautionary measure) but, I now believe there truly is a light at the end of this very dark tunnel and I can finally see it coming to me.

I want to especially thank my sister Courtney for taking time away from her very busy schedule right now to be with me and make me laugh and bring food I like and just generally make me feel better. It means so much to me to laugh and be happy and be treated like ME, and not just some cancer patient. So thanks Court for being the best sister anyone could ask for.

I have to thank also my incredible boyfriend Chris for always standing by me even when I turn into psycho Heather and scream and cry and take out all my frustrations on him. He too, makes me feel normal and happy and safe and not alone in all of this, so thanks honey, I love you.

Lastly I have to thank my incredible mother. She was with me every day, 24-7 for the past 3 weeks listening to me cry and be negative and upset and I can't imagine how difficult that must be for a mother to see their child in that much pain, but continue to care for them. Mom made me feel sooooo much better with her tea and toast meals, and tickling my arm and just being my companion when I needed it, so thanks mom, I love you sooooooo much and I don't know what I'd do without you.

And of course, thanks to every one of you out there who continues to fight and pray for me, and believe in me!!! You are what makes me keep fighting through even the worst of the worst times. Please don't ever give up believing and I promise, I will keep fighting... That's all for now, I will post again in a week or so with hopefully a very positive update.

love and hugs to everyone. -Heather chickey 2010-10-07T13:50:59.119-07:00 Update on Heddy from the Hickey Family! Hi everyone,

Heather came out of an almost 6 hour surgery a couple hours ago and according to the surgeons, everything went as planned! They removed the right lobe of her liver, a small portion of the left lobe, her right colon (where the primary tumor lived), her gall bladder, appendix and all lymphnodes around this area. Needless to say, she is a serious TROOPER! We saw her briefly in recovery where she was fighting some serious pain... she was really happy to see us and even sadder to see us go after such a long and trying day. she will spend the night there being woken up each hour to have her arms and legs exercised and trying to find a pain management regimen that makes this all somewhat bearable over the next couple of days.

She will be at MSK for a week, and if you'd like info on where to send her something just shoot Courtney an email. She doesn't have a phone yet, for now it's 100% attention on recovery.

Thank you to all of you for your love and support through such a difficult and challenging time for Heather, and our family. We are without words for our gratitude. The love of our friends and family has most certainly made the difference in fighting this nasty disease. Keep it coming, Heddy will need it as she recovers and works towards a cancer free future!

Love, Happiness and Health to You All,
The Hickey Family chickey 2010-10-05T12:17:10.536-07:00 Update... It's been a while

Hi All!!!

My goodness it's been a looooooooong time since I've updated everyone on my condition, progress and future plans. I apologize for the delay, things have been very hectic over the past month and a half.

First of all, let me start by saying THANK YOU to everyone who came out to show their support at the Hope for Heddy Fundraiser and Celebration on September 16th!!!! It was an incredibly successful event, more successful than I had ever imagined it to be!! It was so so wonderful to see so many friends new and old, and catch up with everyone. I know that a lot of you came from far away, many made large donations to the Heather Hickey Fund, and many participated in the silent auction that night, and as a result I am secure and prepared for the upcoming surgery and recovery period that I'm about to face. Also, I hope everyone knows that a portion of the proceeds will be donated to both the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Research Fund, as well as the Bendheim Cancer Institute in Greenwich, CT where I have been having most of my treatment up to this point. So, to sum it up, just by showing up to have a few drinks and some great conversation that night, you've actually helped not only me, but many others out there faced with the same challenge, so THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

I have to say a very special thank you to Jaclyn Salvatore Gallo who is not only an incredible event planner, but an outstanding friend. Jac, I love ya!!! Thanks for making it such an unforgettable evening.

Another BIG thank you to my sister Courtney who was the brains and the muscles behind this whole event, and it came out perfectly which I never doubted for a second it would with her in charge. I love you Court, you are flawless at what everything you do, that includes event planning and being a sister. xoxo
There are so so many people who also contributed who I'd like to mention and thank here:
The Italian Center of Stamford
Sutton Cellars - Carl Sutton
Massimo Tullio - Fat Cat Pizza
John Cavanaugh - Mako Vodka
Clea Newman Soderlund
Joanne Woodward
Sonia Kashuk
Deb Waterman Johns
Samantha Cutler
Kate Marino - MAC Cosmetics
Amanda Garland - Juicy Couture
Erin Tillman
David Diehl of the New York Giants
Ashlee Morningstar
Gordon Aysseh
Michael James
Jeffrey Otterbein
Kelly Scinto
Doug and Julia Stewart

I know there are many many others who have contributed to helping make the event such a success so I apologize if I didn't get your name here on this list, but know that all of the contributions are very much appreciated, and made for a fantastic event.

Now on to the really fun stuff....
As for my health condition... Well, recently I have been experiencing some more extreme muscle, joint and bone pain as well as increased spontaneous bleeding in my nose and mouth because of my bloodthinning medication. I went to San Francisco for a short weekend trip with Chris (Red to some of of you) and we had a FANTASTIC time. Unfortuately, I think I overdid it a little bit on that trip. I was supposed to go down to FL for a week a few days after returning from CA to visit with my parents and to relax before the big surgery, but I just had this weird feeling that something wasn't right. I went to the airport the night I was scheduled to leave and my flight was delayed by almost 2 hours and I just knew it was a sign that I shouldn't go. Good thing I didn't end up going, because the next day I called my nurse and explained to her the issues I'd been having with my pain, etc, and I got called in to meet with Dr Lee who took a blood draw and saw that once again I was extremely anemic. So, I have to have a second blood transufusion this past Wednesday. It did help give me a little more energy and some color back into my face, but it doesn't really relieve the pain I'm experiencing so I'm on meds for that.

Now, the big day is approaching. Here is my schedule:
-- Tuesday 10/5 - I will go into outpatient surgery at Greenwich Hospital to have something called and IVC filter implanted in my vena cava. It's a small device that resembles something like an umbrella when opened up, and it helps to catch any blood clots that might form during surgery. THey are being extra careful with me and the possibility for blood clots because of the recent large Pulmonary Embolism I just had.
-- Thursday 10/7 - is the BIG DAY!!! I will go into Memorial Sloan-Kettering hospital some time in the morning (I won't know until the day before) to get prepped for my surgery and then I will go into the OR. The surgery lasts about 4-5 hours the surgeons said. Once I am done I will be taken to the Post Surgery Recovery Area where I can see my family for about 10 minutes only because I will be so out of it. The surgery will consist of the resection of my entire right colon and then they will connect the small intestine to the remaining portion. Then they will remove the entire right half of my liver, as well as a small remaining tumor on the left side, either by laser removal or surgically. They will also remove my gall bladder, just for the heck of it.

I should be in the hospital for about 7-8 days in recovery, and once I am eating normally and able to get myself up and walk with assistance ok, then I will be released back home into the care of my family, lucky them!!! The doctors predict I will be recovering at home for about 2 weeks with help until I will feel strong enough to get up and move about my house, cook for myself, etc on my own.

After about 4-5 weeks after surgery, I will begin chemotherapy again. The same regimen I was given before surgery. Right now they are thinking I will only need just one cycle (4 sessions over 8 weeks) or possibly 2 cycles. It all depends on how my post surgery and chemo scans look.

After all of this, it is expected I will be in complete remission or cancer free!! I have all the faith in the world in my team of physicians and surgeons, and know that they will do everything they can to cure me of this disease.

I also know that because of all of the support that I am still receiving from everyone out there, I will be ok, probably better than ever!!! Of course I am not going into this surgery without any fears at all, I'm scared out of my mind!!! But I can do it, I know I can.

I apologize for this lengthy update but it's been so long since I've written so I wanted to make sure I got all recent details up here since I probably will not be writing again until after my surgery which won't be for a couple of weeks, assuming all goes well.

Please, keep me in your thoughts and prayers this week more than ever because it's now that I'm starting to doubt myself. Fear is a powerful thing and can sometimes take over in ways you don't expect, but as long as I know I have an entire circuit of people out there supporting me, that fear has no chance of creeping in. Any time I get scared, I just close my eyes and get a visual of the scene at the fundraiser and how many people, who I've known for a day or for years all there to show their support and belief in me, and I know that I will be just fine.

So thank you again everyone for your words, thoughts, prayers, gifts of support and encouragement. Now, let's get this thing!!!!!! See ya later big C, you're a goner!!

Thanks and love to all

P.S. Attached are a few pics from the amazing fundraiser that I wanted to share with everyone. chickey 2010-09-12T18:31:04.571-07:00 Hope for Heddy Fundraiser & Celebration- THIS THURSDAY!!! Hope for Heddy Fundraiser and Celebration
Thursday, September 16th
7:30pm - 10:30pm
The Stamford Italian Center
1620 Newfield Avenue
Stamford, CT 06905

It's been almost four months since Heddy's diagnosis and she has already shown us what a fighter she is thanks to the support of her friends and family!

Please join us for music, silent auction, cocktails and hors d'oeuvres to celebrate Heather's strength & spirit and wish her well as she prepares to give cancer the final knockout punch!

$60 per person ~ Payable through paypal by clicking the "Donate" button to the right, or by check payable to The Heather Hickey Fund sent to PO Box 507 Southport CT 06890.
Please indicate payment is for the event and we will keep your name at the door!

Portions of the evening's proceeds will be donated to Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Research and The Bendheim Cancer Center in Greenwich, CT.
Please feel free to invite friends; ALL ARE WELCOME! We look forward to seeing you there!!

The Hickey Family
chickey 2010-08-19T08:46:11.040-07:00 I'm Back!! Hi Everyone!

I apologize yet again that i've been such a slacker with keeping up on updating the blog. So, here is the latest update...

This week was my LAST round of cycle 2 of chemo!! This second cycle has been rough though, not going to lie. I got sick a few days with a fever, and then the usual aches and pains and incredible fatigue. I have however, gotten my appetite back completely!!! I really do not have any eating issues anymore which is wonderful because I need to gain weight since my surgery is coming very soon.

So, on Wednesday the 25th I will go for my second post chemo scan and then meet with my oncologist at Sloan for the results. I'm just hoping and praying the results are as positive and good as they were the last time. During that meeting then I will know what the next step is, which is definitely surgery I just don't have a date yet.

Outside of all of the cancer treatment stuff, life has been pretty great!! Ive been working as much as possible which is good, hanging out with friends who I haven't seen in a while and just relaxing and trying to enjoy what is left of summer! I am however, NOT laying in the sun anymore after the sunburn disaster I had recently. I guess I really should've listened when my doctor said that chemo and the sun don't mix because I really paid for it. YIKES!

So that's all for now, my life isn't terribly exciting at the moment so I don't have much to update. I will however update next week of course after I get my results back and my plan of action moving forward.

Also, please stay tuned for more information about the upcoming Hope for Heddy Fundraiser which will be held on Thursday, September 16th!!! I am looking forward to seeing everyone there!!

Lots of love and thanks for the continued support.
xoxo chickey 2010-08-02T13:22:09.998-07:00 A good start to Round 3... Hey Hey all!!!

Well I started my 3rd round of chemo on the second cycle today, so in total this is the 7th treatment I've had.
As you all know, I've had a rough couple of weeks, however, it seems my little body decided to start working overtime because my bloodcounts today were all MUCH higher and at normal levels. This is great news!!! In addition my INR level in my blood is stabilized so I get to go off of the tummy shots, finally!!!! I couldn't be happier. So, even though I'm having chemo and will sure enough have some gnarly side effects later this week, I am in FANTASTIC spirits, and feeling so good. I guess all of that rest really does pay off. I listened to my body, and it worked.

I did however get scolded for the sunburn I got yesterday at the beach, but I don't care, I had such a wonderful day with Chris and his mom, the sunburn was well worth it.

Also, last night I got to have dinner with my cousin Chris and his family who I haven't seen in 7 years!! It was so so amazing to see them, especially their beautiful girls who 2 of them I had never even met! They gave me the most beautiful bracelets for good luck, and they absolutely worked!! So thanks so so much to Chris, Pam, Mackenzie, Kyra and Addie Hickey for ending what was a bad week on a great note and the good luck bracelets really paid off. I love you guys!!!!

It's so great to have such amazing family and people in my life, I can't imagine getting thru any of this without all of you.

So, now I will get through this week and then my last treatment is week of August 16th and then another scan and of course then the dreaded day of surgery will arrive. I will of course keep everyone posted on those details.

Now I plan to keep doing what I've been doing, resting and eating as much as possible to keep building my strength back.

Sending love to all and THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!!! I'm beating this thing, because of all of you.

-Heddy chickey 2010-07-28T17:20:23.716-07:00 Mid-Week Update Hi Everyone out there...

Just thought I would write a quick update. Not much going on over here lately. I stayed in all weekend because with my blood counts so low last week after chemo I really needed the rest. Apparently it wasn't enough because I went back to work Monday and Tuesday and am absolutely wiped out.

Came home last night from NYC and took a nap, woke up feeling like hell. So I decided to take a bath because that always makes me feel better. When I got out I went to throw something away in the garbage and leaned over and banged my head right on the corner of the towel rack. UGH!!! So now, of course because I basically have the thinnest blood in the world, I was bleeding from a tiny cut, and now I have an egg on my head which is quickly turning black and blue. Let's put it this way, I look like I got shot at point blank range in the middle of my forehead with a BB gun. Fabulous!!!! So today I stayed home from work and got a lot of sleep. A LOT. Yet, I still don't feel energized. I guess this is what they are referring to when they say fatigue is a side effect of chemo??? I'd say so...

Anyway tomorrow I will go back to work and see how I make out. Then this weekend is another weekend of rest. I wanted to go to the beach on Saturday but considering I have an egg on my head and my stomach is covered in swollen bruises from my bloodthinner shots, I think I'll pass on that. I might scare people. HAHAH!

I'm still in great spirits though. Just been a rough couple of weeks physically but I'm fightin through!! My little body is working serious overtime, but we're not giving up!!

Next week is round 3 of this second cycle of chemo... oh joy. Then there is just 1 more and another scan and then most likely surgery in mid to late Sepember. I will kee you all posted on the plans.

Thanks everyone for the continued support and for all of you who have donated to the Heather Hickey Fund, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!

Love to all and talk soon!
xoxo chickey 2010-07-21T16:15:34.558-07:00 End of the confusion... Hi everyone...
So from now on this will be my one and only blog where I will update on my progress and where you can all leave me notes and words of wisdom/encouragement! It was becoming a bit confusing with the 2 sites, so I decided to cut it down to one and since this is also the site for donating to the Heather Hickey Fund, I figured this one made the most sense.

Today I went and disconnected from treatment 6. My doc could tell that I'm starting to get worn down just by looking at me. So, basically what he said is that the next few weeks are going to be very hard. My blood counts are low, I'm exhausted, achey, etc. and it's most likely just going to continue to get worse over the next month. He said we'll continue with my next treatment on August 2nd as planned, but then I will take a little break because my body is really taking quite a hit from all of this chemo. This of course will delay my whole plan by a week or so, but he thinks it's necessary, and I'm not gonna argue with the doc!!

Tomorrow I will go and have a shot of Neulasta to boost my white blood cells and a shot of Procrit to boost my red blood cells and then I will basically spend the weekend in bed. Oh joy. I actually don't mind considering the heat here in CT is becoming oppressive. Air conditioning is becoming my best friend.

I have to say that one thing I've realized throughout this whole experience is that acts of kindness and generosity show up from the most unexpected places. I received such a special gift today that meant so much to me that it actually brought tears to my eyes. Anyway, I thought it was pretty amazing and it really meant a lot to me, so I just want to thank the Segerson family from the bottom of my heart for all of their support from day one of this nightmare. I don't think you'll ever know how much you've helped me.

So I hope everyone will continue to follow me on this site! I promise to keep updating it as frequently as I can. For now, I will be resting with my bottles of water, gatorade, protein shakes and pain meds.

Sending big hugs to everyone out there!!
chickey 2010-07-20T16:59:21.929-07:00 It's been a while!!!
Hi Friends,

First of all let me apologize for being the biggest slacker ever at keeping up with my journal entries. I'm sorry!!! I honestly have just had a rough and very busy couple of weeks I can't even find the energy to sit at the computer and update you all...

So here I am! I'm in round 2 of my second cycle of chemo this week. In total, this will be my 6th treatment. It's definitely starting to take its toll on me much harder this time. All of my blood counts are very low, so low I almost wasn't able to get chemo this week! My platelets are VERY low, which is causing me to have "spontaneous bleeding" in my mouth which is just lovely let me tell you. I may possibly need a platelet transfusion at the end of this week, but I will know that tomorrow when I see my doc and disconnect from the chemo. For the most part, I feel like crap. I'm exhausted all the time, achey, nauseous, and I've been very very dehydrated that I've had horrible headaches. So, basically that's why I haven't been updating as frequently, because I don't want to be a downer on here, and while I'm staying as positive as possible, I do have my down moments.

Besides all of that, I've actually had some fun things going on! I had visits from 2 great friends, Audrey and Jen who I haven't seen in ages so that was very nice. I want to thank them both for making the trip to come visit. Love you guys! i've also been spending some nice time at the beach, getting some sun and swimming which I must say does amazing things for me. I feel like a whole new person when I just go for a quick swim in the water and lay on the beach. Of course though, then I need a 2 hour nap afterwards.

So, I don't really have much else to report. I spend a lot of time at home, trying to work as much as possible but everything is becoming quite overwhelming for me at the moment. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting to my breaking point, but I manage to pick myself back up again and forge on.

Thanks everyone for continuing to support me! It means a lot and some days, is the only thing keeping me in positive spirits, so keep the encouragement coming!

Love to all and I promise to keep updating more frequently.
chickey 2010-07-06T15:42:44.999-07:00 On to the next phase... Hi Everyone!!

sorry for not writing sooner, it's been a very busy and emotionally draining time for me the past couple of weeks.

Well, as most of you probably already know from Facebook, last week I got some VERY GOOD news!!!

I had my first post-chemo scan at Sloan-Kettering on Wednesday the 30th, and let's just say I was a nervous wreck for 2 days before and all morning the day of. Starting with the scan itself of course. I had a scan of my chest, abdomen, pelvis and then something called an angiogram which looks more closely at the blood vessels going to the liver. so when they do these catscans as most of you probably know they inject you with a contrast dye so they can see the organs and arteries, and what not. I'm not a doctor so I can't really explain it all that well. when they do an angiogram, they have to inject the dye at a faster rate. One of the things that happens with the dye is that you get a warm sensation all throughout your body, down to your "groin". So, basically not to offend anyone, it feels like you're peeing all over the table. It's the weirdest sensation in the world!!! So anyway, of course that made me giggle a little as I'm laying there on the table and the machine is yelling at me "Take a deep breath and HOLD!"

The scan lasted about 15 minutes and then I was out of there. I had about 3 hours in between before my meeting with my oncologist for the "results". My mom and sister met me at Sloan and we waited for about, an hour before we were finally called in to meet with Dr. Reidy. You can imagine how nervous I was, and really, I was not expecting good news. And everyone keeps saying, why? Why wouldn't you expect it to be good? Well, I guess when you're in a situation like this one, you have to truly "hope for the best but expect the worst". In addition, I really hadn't been feeling all that great the days leading up to the scan, so I honestly thought that my cancer was spreading.

When Dr. Reidy came in she had an enormous smile on her face and embraced me and said, "ROCKSTAR!! Your scan looked AMAZING!!!" I was really shocked! But nevertheless, very very happy.

So at this point, Dr Reidy met with my surgeons and presented my new scans to them, and they are all amazed at the results I've had with just one cycle of this first chemo treatment. My CEA level [which is a marker for which they measure the amount of cancer in your body] was at a 656 when I first went into Sloan on May 5th, and after the first cycle of the chemo it is down to a 33!!! [A normal person has a 5 or below]. So this is very exciting, surprising and encouraging news.

Based on this new scan, the surgeons at Sloan together with my oncologists have decided why rock the boat, and let's stick with what's working and see how far it can take me. So I am doing another full cycle of the FOLFOX chemo which is 8 weeks, and 4 "rounds" or "infusions" of the chemo, the same as I did the first time around.

I had my first round today of this second cycle, and it went ok. My dearest friend Audrey came to visit from Charleston and sat with me through the whole 4 hours and we chatted and caught up which was great. I'm feeling pretty lousy tonight, not gonna lie. I'm exhausted, this heat is NOT helping, and I have a metallic taste in my mouth which makes me feel sick. My white blood cell count is low again, so I will have to get the Neulasta shot again this week which will give me the extreme joint pain for the next week or so, but I have meds for that.

My Pulmonary Embolism is finally gone!!! Whoo hoo!! However, I do still have scar tissue on my lung from where my lung swelled when fighting off the clot so that is giving me some discomfort, but my doctors said it will go away in time. I still do have to continue with the Fragmin injections for 6 months though. :(

So I just wanted to give everyone the most recent updates on my condition. This second cycle should bring me up to about the end of August and then I will have another scan to see how much more of the Cancer the FOLFOX was able to get rid of. At that point, then I will most likely have surgery...

I want to as always thank EVERYONE for your continued support. For all of you who have donated to The Heather Hickey Fund, thanks so so much, it's really so generous and helping me more than you know... I will be sending you all a personal thank you but I apologize for the delay in getting them to you, I'm just a bit overwhelmed right now with everything, work, treatment, etc. But, I promise you'll be receiving them soon.

Lots of love and hugs to everyone and for those of you on the East Coast, I hope you're all surviving this heat!!!!

Talk soon,
Heather chickey 2010-06-23T09:59:44.542-07:00 Last Round... Hi Everyone!

First of all sorry that I haven't written in a week. So now there is so much to catch up on!!

this past weekend I spend in Nantucket with my brother and sister and some friends and it was SOOO great! Honestly it's amazing what a little sea air, sun and peace and quiet can do for a person. I have never felt better than I did when I was up there. So, I'm very thankful for that weekend away. Especially since it led right into my final round of this first cycle of chemo!!

I have just disconnected today from the last round. To be honest I'm feeling really lousy. Yesterday was a "bed day", couldn't really do much. Today, I feel a little better but still having bad joint pain, cramping, and just miscellaneous aches and pains. Also, this time my white blood cell count dropped again so I have to get another shot of Neulasta tomorrow which last time, made me want to jump out of my skin it made my joints hurt so much. Really looking forward to that again... NOT!

Next week is my first post-chemo scan at Sloan. They will tell me then what happened with the treatments and if I'm ready for surgery or not. Big day!! I'm confident that this first treatment went well because I am feeling pretty good, aside from the chemo side effects. I've also been keeping a very positive attitude, and that's half the battle.

So, I'm not going to make this a long entry, I will wait until next week and elaborate more on what the doctor's have to say. I just wanted to say hi to everyone and let you all know how much the continued support means to me. I'm still a fighter, nothing has gotten me down yet! If anything, emotionally, I feel like I'm in the best place I've ever been in my life. So thank you all for that, because a lot of it has to do with you.

Lots of love and stay tuned for more good news!!
Heather chickey 2010-06-15T11:36:26.539-07:00 Just Saying Hi... I just wanted to post a quick note to say hi to everyone out there!

this week is my "off" week, off meaning no treatment, but full time at work... But, I love coming to work, and it's actually been an interesting week! Today Lucy Liu randomly walked into our office, which was a cool surprise!

Next week is my last round of chemo for this cycle and then the big day is on the 30th, when I have my first post-chemo scan. It seems like time has flown by and now it's standing still waiting to know what's going on inside of me!!! I will be sure to keep everyone updated.

I am going to keep this post short because honestly I'm tired, I have chemobrain, and I can't really think of anything witty or interesting to say. I just really wanted to say hi to everyone and let you all know that your support has been amazing and keeps me going every day. Keep the encouragement coming, it helps more than you know...

Love to all and will post more soon... chickey 2010-06-09T09:07:38.870-07:00 Rough Round 3... Hi all!

Well today I disconnected from round 3 of this cycle of chemo, and man was it a relief! I have to say it had a bit of a harder punch this time around, but, I am managing everything ok.

Yesterday I was very sick, really couldn't get out of bed at all, only to go to the bathroom and get water. I felt exactly the same way I did when I had Swine Flu at the beginning of this year. I was incredibly achey, and my temperature was rising and falling with every minute. However, I did manage to eat quite a bit so that's always a positive thing!! I realized that I am going to have days like this, and probably more frequently now that the chemo is accumulating in my body the side effects will be happening faster and a bit more intensely, but, still I'm fighting through!!!

So now I have just one more round to go in this first cycle, the week of June 21st. Then on June 30th I will have my first scan after chemo to see if the tumors have shrunk or if the cancer has spread, and if I'm ready for surgery. If I'm not ready for surgery, then I will go through another one, possibly two, cycles of the same systemic chemo I'm doing now. To be honest, I'm not sure I'm mentally prepared for the surgery yet, so I can't say I will be disappointed if they tell me I need more chemo. But that's just how I feel today.

So that's the update for now on me and how I'm feeling. Today I'm ok, I'm out of bed and working from home, trying to stay busy, still a bit achey though and today is when my nausea typically sets in... fun fun!!

I want to again thank everyone who has donated to the Heather Hickey Fund and everyone who is out there rocking their purple Hope for Heddy bracelets! thank you!!! You will all be receiving a personal thank you from me, but I want to make sure that you all know how appreciative I am, and how much I am just blown away by the amount of support I've received. I want to also take the opportunity to remind everyone to GO TO THE DOCTOR! If you don't feel well, if you're tired, if you just feel the tiniest bit "off", GO! Listen to your bodies, it's SO important.
That's just my little preaching session for now, there will be more to come down the road... ;o)

Lots of love to everyone and I'll be in touch in a few days!
xoxo - H chickey 2010-06-06T18:31:49.420-07:00 A very special gift...

Yesterday I received a very special gift from someone who I have not seen since I was a little girl. The gift was a beautiful crocheted shawl that was handmade by a prayer group in Arizona while they prayed for me. I was told that God told them they needed to finish the shawl and send it to me because I needed it for protection and faith.

I've never been a very religious person, but this whole Cancer experience has made me realize that having faith in something bigger than us, can be very helpful.

So while I may not be going to church every Sunday (just yet), or praying myself, I know that there are many many of you out there praying for me and having faith in me and that God is going to help me because of all of you.

Above is a pic of me in my beautiful shawl and I have to thank Gail Robson and the Oro Valley Church of the Nazarene so much for this amazing gift. I am really very touched.

And wanted to end with a little quote from the card they included with the gift:

May love surround you

May faith sustain you

May hope encourage you

Day by day...

Thanks everyone for your faith in me.

chickey 2010-06-03T13:38:46.501-07:00 Cancer Stole My Thunder!! The title of this post is not really coming from me, but from my Pulmonary Embolism.

I think Little PE is feeling a bit like the Cancer has stolen it's thunder. So, in an effort to regain it's place in the spotlight, PE is pissing me off beyond belief this week.

I honestly wake up every morning and feel like I smoked a pack of Marlboro Reds the night before, one after the next consecutively without stopping. In addition to the chest/lung pain I have to endure all day, I'm exhausted, out of breath and achey in my back. My doctor explained that the PE was very large, and it's going to be probably another 2 months before my body has dissolved it.. so basically he's saying I need to just suck it up and deal.

My other frustration with Little PE, are the shots I have to give myself every morning. In the beginning it was no big deal, but now that I've lost somewhere around 30 pounds and I don't have such a mushy gut anymore, the shots are not going into my stomach as easily and leaving bruises and pain at the site of injection each day. Which makes finding a spot for the next shot on the next day harder and harder!!! And really, this is a very inopportune time for this to be happening considering it's bikini season.

So I guess my point of posting this note, is to let PE know, I understand that you're still here, don't feel trumped by the many tumors I have, they're not more important than you. I don't love or even like you PE, but I'm acknowledging you just as much as the Cancer.

Your home for the time being, Heather chickey 2010-06-01T06:22:49.090-07:00 Happy Memorial Day! Hello everyone! I hope you all had a great long weekend, I know I did! It was very relaxing and enjoyable, saw a lot of friends I haven't seen in a while, got some sun, it was wonderful!

I'm heading into my off week of chemo so I will be back to work full time this week, and I'm looking forward to it.

I'm feeling pretty good for the most part. I did have a shot on Thursday to help boost my white blood cell count back up so that it doesn't interfere with my chemo schedule, and it did give me some pretty bad side effects. Awful joint pain and headaches, but nothing that a little tylenol (or an occasional percocet) can't fix.

I want to thank my dear dear friend Jen Biasi for all of her help in setting up this new blog site. She's a true techie whiz!! Jen, I love you soooo much, you're such an amazing friend.

I also want to thank my sister Courtney for all of her help with getting the Hope for Heddy bracelets (which are still available if you want one!!), and for organizing and setting up the Heather Hickey Fund. Love you Court!!! You're the best, don't know what I'd do without you!

And lastly, thanks everyone for checking in, for your words of support and to those of you who have contributed to the Heather Hickey Fund, I'm just without words to express my appreciation. I know that a lot of you have said I'm an inspiration, but really, YOU are all MY inspiration!!! So, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I am fighting this thing with all of my might to the very end for all of you. So, back to the grind! Hope everyone is well.
Love to all
xo-Heddy chickey 2010-05-27T19:27:48.696-07:00 A Little Light... Wednesday, May 26, 2010 12:25 PM

So today I went and got disconnected from my second infusion of the first round of chemo and my doctor had some good news!! He told me my cancer markers are down. When I started the treatment they were at around 400 and now they are at about 200!!! He said not to get overly excited but that it's definitely a good sign. Couldn't have come at a better time because I was having a REALLY bad morning and feeling really awful... it's amazing what just a little bit of good news can do. I'm halfway through my first round of chemo now! Before I know it, I will be cured! :)Keep the encouragement coming, it's helping me more than you know! xoxo chickey 2010-05-27T19:26:21.490-07:00 A New Type of Weekend, and Round Two Tuesday, May 25, 2010 11:09 AM

Hi Everyone! I know it's been a while since my last post, so I apologize. Things have been very hectic with going back to work, trying to get my house organized and then going into round 2 of chemo yesterday. Work last week went well. It felt good to be back among the living! It did take quite a bit out of me at times though, so I do need to take it a little more easy going forward. I had a good weekend, actually go out and saw some friends. It's weird now going to parties and walking into a room and seeing the looks on people's faces and the whispers "she has CANCER"... it's kind of like that scene in St. Elmo's Fire when the mother wouldn't say it out loud... I find it incredibly amusing actually. Yesterday started round 2 of chemo and my amazing friend Cathy came with me and sat with me for the 5 hours we were here. Thanks Cath!!!!! It went fine, my white blood cell count was slightly low which I need to be careful of, so when I go back to the doctor tomorrow to disconnect the will give me a shot of some kind to help boost back up the white blood cells so that maybe I won't be so exhausted, because right now I feel like someone kicked the crap out of me. So I'm feeling ok today, I have sooooo much to do in the way of paperwork for insurance and phone calls to make, but now I think I need a little nap before I can get into all of that. And, the greatest news of all, is that my docor told me I should be eating whatever I can stomach at this point, so the crazy vegan diet is out the window and I'm actually able to stomach food. That's a step in the right direction!!! I will post more later or tomorrow and keep you all updated on how my week progresses. Thanks everyone for the continued support, it's incredibly encouraging especially during these rough weeks. Lots of love... chickey 2010-05-27T19:24:27.146-07:00 Not the best day... Wednesday, May 19, 2010 1:59 PM

Today I feel kinda crappy. I guess I'm really not Superwoman afterall. Yesterday I went into NYC [drove] for a full day of work and then sat in 2.5 hours of traffic on the way home. It really did a number on me. Today, I feel the same way I did when I took myself to the hospital a few weeks ago. In addition, I literally do not know what I'm allowed and not allowed to eat, and therefore, I'm basically not eating. I'm sure that's contributing to the way I'm feeling today. And to the fact that none of my clothes fit me anymore which is another added frustration. I guess I'm entitled to a few of these days along the way, but don't worry, I'm still smiling and staying positive!! I promise my next post will be more upbeat... -H chickey 2010-05-27T19:22:23.650-07:00 Back to Work... Monday, May 17, 2010 2:18 PM

So, yesterday I was sitting at home alone and things were very quiet all of a sudden... the phone wasn't ringing, the emails stopped coming, the texts were slowing down, and I realized, everyone is going back to their normal lives since the "cancer storm" hit. And then I said to myself, instead of sitting here watching hours and hours of Law & Order: SVU and becoming a vegetable, I'm going to get back to my life TOO!!! so today I'm back at work. It's only been 2 weeks but it feels like a year. first thing's first about today though, was my ride to work. I got in the car and got on 95 and "I'm Coming Out" by Diana Ross comes on the radio... now what an amazingly PERFECT song for me to hear on my first drive back to work!!! Anyone who knows me knows that my car is basically a traveling disco dance party, and today it was seriously rocking. I was belting out singing so loud that I think I might have lost my voice. It was awesome! So now, I will forever think of that song as MY song, I'm coming out, with Cancer, and I'm going to rock out even harder than I did before! Ok, now on to work. Well, coming back to work after you've been gone for a while is never the easiest thing to do, so much catch up and other stuff to do. But I have to say it's been fine, I'm already feeling back in the swing of things and everyone at my work has been so incredibly supportive and kind, I couldn't ask for a better first day back. Now I have to force feed myself some pasta and get through to the 5pm bell! Tomorrow I'm off to NYC for the rest of the week so we'll see how that plays out... love to all! -H chickey 2010-05-27T19:20:39.248-07:00 Good morning and Happy Weekend, Friends! Saturday, May 15, 2010 8:31 AM

The purpose of this journal entry is to let everyone know my exact treatment plan as it stands today because I think some people are under the impression that I'm in the hospital at Sloan-Kettering or Greenwich, etc. I wanted to make sure that you all know the plan for the months ahead. Right now I have started my first 8 week round of chemotherapy called FOLFOX. This is a standard, aggressive chemo regimen that is recommended to treat patients in Stage 4 to prevent the cancer from spreading anywhere else, most importantly for me the lungs and the lymphnodes which thankfully, it hasn't gone to yet. Also, this treatment helps to kill or, "zap out" as my doctor's like to say, the microparticles of cancer that may be in my colon and liver that the doctors can't see. At the end of this first 8 week stint, I will have a CT scan that will be reviewed together by my oncologists at both Greenwich Hospital and Sloan Kettering, as well as my liver surgeon. At that point they will see if the tumors have shrunk enough that they feel confident for surgery. If not, then I will do another 8 week round of the same chemo and the same process will repeat itself. This FOLFOX treatment is done OUTPATIENT from Greenwich, which is fantastic so that I don't have to haul myself into the city every 2 weeks to get the treatment. How it's administered is that I go every other Monday and sit at the Dr. office for about 3 hours while they infuse the chemo Oxaliplatin into me through my beloved port. Then, once that is finished I leave the office with a very fashionable fanny pack which holds a 2 day supply of a different chemo called 5FU. This is administered slowly through my port for 48 hours at home, and then when it's finished I go back to the doctor's office and they remove it. Then I am off for a whole week. During the off weeks is when I am experiencing most of the side effects, nausea, fatigue, loss of appetite are the biggest so far, but on most days I feel pretty ok, so I will be working as much as my body allows me to. At the point when the surgeons and oncologists are pleased with the results of my CT scans and feel the chemo has served it's purpose then I will have surgery. Both the colon and the liver tumors will be removed at the same time. This is a very big, long and serious surgery which will be handled at Sloan-Kettering. When that time comes, I will he hospitalized for at least 2 weeks and then in recovery at home for probably up to 4 or 6 weeks, depending on how my body handles it. Also at the time of surgery there is the possibility that I will have an additional chemo port placed into my pelvic area which will be connected to the hepatic artery and will treat my liver with a special chemo directly. The purpose of this treatment is to prevent any tumors from coming back on the liver. This is a treatment that has been done at sloan for about 30 years and they have had great success with, according to their doctors, but, my doctor at Greenwich is not entirely comfortable with it so it's something that is going to need more discussion when we get to that point. I'm not even sure how comfortable with it I am at this point because the liver specialist explained that the port they will place in my abdomen is the size of a hockey puck... considering that I am having trouble with my chest port and that the size of a quarter, the thought of a puck in my stomach is nooootttt exactly thrilling. But, if it's going to save my life and keep me cancer free, then bring it on!! So, that is basically my treatment plan summed up. So that everyone knows, I'm home at my house in Greenwich through most of this except when I have surgery, or god willing, I'm at work! I thank everyone for your continued support and words of kindness and encouragement on this site, I'm blown away by all the messages and visits. It's really uplifting and keeps me going every day. Hope to see some or all of you soon, and if not, I guess I will be "talking" to you soon on here! lots of love, xo - H chickey 2010-05-27T19:18:58.784-07:00 Me & My Port Friday, May 14, 2010 5:18 PM

Hi Everyone! It's me, Heather. I just wanted to write a quick journal entry to get some stuff off my chest about my port (no pun intended). There are probably a lot of you out there who don't know what I'm talking about when I refer to a "port". Basically, it's a device that they surgically implanted in my chest (just under my collarbone on the right side) that has a rubber center and a tube that goes into my jugular vein. Now, the port has many many advantages. Every time I go to the doctor I don't have to get stuck in a different vein they just access the port through the "rubber belly" in the center. This is also how I have my chemo administered which is much better for me because having chemo administered through veins in your arms can be very painful from what I understand. So, the nurses and doctors were all VERY adamant about the fact that I would definitely not notice the port once it was put in. This, was a flat out lie. The port and me, well, we have a love hate relationship right now. I definitely KNOW it's there. It feels like a tiny weight in my chest. In addition to the weight thing, the tube rubs around on my collarbone from time to time when I move in a certain way, which I'm sure you can imagine is not comfortable. I don't mean to skeeve anyone out, I just feel it's an interesting little device that most people don't know about, and should!! The good thing is, I only have chemo every other week. So I had it this past Monday through Wednesday, and then I will have it again on the 24th-26th and so on until the doctors thing I'm ready for surgery. On the off weeks the port just basically hangs out in my chest waiting to be accessed. So, for now I am still getting to know my port, we're building our relationship, and I'm sure we will be besties in no time, but this has been my biggest hurdle thus far with this Cancer thing, so wanted to share it with everyone out there. Thanks everyone for the continued support and I will keep you updated!! xox - H chickey 2010-05-27T19:30:13.479-07:00 Welcome, from Courtney! Thursday, May 13, 2010 4:52 PM

Hi everyone, it's Courtney with the first of many journal entries! First and foremost, I want to thank you all for your love and support over these last two crazy weeks... It means more to Heather and our family than we could ever describe in words. We created this site to keep everyone updated on Heddy's journey and to allow you to send her messages of encouragement as well. We know for certain that the support she has received from family and friends since this all began has been the cornerstone of her strength and positivity. We are all amazed and inspired everyday by Heather's smiles, laughter and will to fight in the face of something so terrifying... If anyone can do this, it's Heddy! We will update the site regularly on her condition, her treatment and most importantly her successes! Heather began chemo on Monday and is holding up very well... we had a meeting with her liver surgeon yesterday at MSK and will meet with her colon surgeon tomorrow. So far, we have gotten very positive news! Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers, clearly it's working :) chickey 2011-03-29T04:30:56.271-07:00 Congratulations, Heather!!! xxoo Congratulations, Heather!!! xxoo A Broad Abroad 2011-03-16T01:41:34.780-07:00 So happy you had a happy birthday, Heather! We wi... So happy you had a happy birthday, Heather! We will all always believe in you. You are AMAZING!! Keep positive and keep fighting! xxoo A Broad Abroad 2011-03-15T18:50:11.222-07:00 You are an amazing person! My favorite inspiring ... You are an amazing person! My favorite inspiring quote is: "Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain..." and you do that every day! Thank you! Anonymous 2011-02-01T10:39:57.694-08:00 Hey Heather, I sent you an email about a week aft... Hey Heather,

I sent you an email about a week after your post- did you get it?! No worries about getting back to me right away, I just wanted to make sure you received it?! Hope you are well! ~Nurse Jackie~ :-) Anonymous 2011-01-04T16:34:37.000-08:00 What an incredible list! This is so inspiring for ... What an incredible list! This is so inspiring for me and your journey is one of incredible strength. We are all thinking of you at the NYO<3!!

Stephanie Anonymous 2011-01-03T03:09:48.534-08:00 Simply beautiful, Heather! Happy 2011!! xxoo Simply beautiful, Heather! Happy 2011!! xxoo A Broad Abroad 2011-01-02T09:21:30.753-08:00 Dear Heather: I have been following your courageou... Dear Heather:
I have been following your courageous journey with prayers and love. Your letters are an inspiration to all of us that have the privilege to read them and mostly to know you. Life should be lived and enjoyed minute by minute. You are surrounded by so much love and support, how could you not fight such a valiant battle, come out victorious and full of WISDOM.
I hope 2011 will bring you Peace, Love, Health and so many other good things. Mostly I wish for you to enjoy Life with "Bread, Wine and Fantasy" and mostly"Don't forget the Candlelight" (these where my mother's favorite pieces of advise).
Love JUDY CUNNINGHAM (Julia's Mom) Anonymous 2011-01-01T18:46:21.059-08:00 Nurse Jackie!!!!!!!! I can't believe its you!!... Nurse Jackie!!!!!!!! I can't believe its you!!! Email me We have soooooooooo much to talk about!! Xoxo Anonymous 2011-01-01T17:41:01.293-08:00 Hi Heather, I just wanted to tell you how much of ... Hi Heather, I just wanted to tell you how much of an inspiration you are & how beautiful your reflections of 2010 are! I am so glad to hear you are doing well. I have thought of you often & continue to keep you in my prayers! I would love to hear from you. Keep looking forward!! ~Nurse Jackie~ :-) Anonymous 2010-12-21T20:49:47.145-08:00 Heather your courage and hope and faith is amazing... Heather your courage and hope and faith is amazing. Those insurance company rotten bas'turds... You're an inspiration. john stanley 2010-12-19T11:15:52.798-08:00 Dear Heather, thank you for your words which so in... Dear Heather, thank you for your words which so inspire me! I think and pray for you often. I look forward to meeting you in the near future, cancer free, both of us healthy and strong! I am so glad you are blessed as I am with a wonderful supportive family. Merry Christmas to you! with love, Belle Coughlin Belle 2010-12-17T10:36:55.077-08:00 Merry Christmas - God bless you and your family. o... Merry Christmas - God bless you and your family. ox The Sedlak's Anonymous 2010-12-17T09:12:50.298-08:00 Merry Christmas Heather! You Are Awesome... Merry Christmas Heather! You Are Awesome... Dave Tyler 2010-12-17T08:12:13.739-08:00 Merry Christmas, darling Heather and the Hickeys! ... Merry Christmas, darling Heather and the Hickeys! Keep shining bright! You are amazing! xxoo A Broad Abroad 2010-12-17T08:07:15.421-08:00 I love you, Heddy. Can't wait to see you on th... I love you, Heddy. Can't wait to see you on the 30th!
xoxoxoxox JennyCB 2010-11-15T10:03:58.324-08:00 Heather, I have kept your bracelet on from your be... Heather, I have kept your bracelet on from your benefit/fundraiser to remind myself of what an inspiration you are and to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I read your words and can't believe how strong you have been while going through this battle. I remember when I first met you in 6th grade and how I thought to myself what a beautiful person you were and still are. I guess the thought of you not wining this fight has led me to realize how precious all of our time is together on this earth and although we have not always been close that doesn't mean that you are not truly a very special person to me (family too). I guess what I am trying to say is that you have so many people who care about you and want to see you around as long as we are around. Hopefully you, even on a bad day, will remember that very simple fact. You make up a very important part of the New Canaan 30 something group of friends and failure is not an option! All of us, whether we write in this blog, or donate silently or even say stuff in our minds without really saying it are right by your side to help you stay strong even when it might be so hard to do so. Anonymous 2010-11-02T17:51:51.208-07:00 Hi Heather, we are all praying for you in the NYO!... Hi Heather, we are all praying for you in the NYO! Your honesty and faith during this battle is unmatched and you are a true inspiration. -Stephanie Anonymous 2010-10-29T11:56:39.255-07:00 Heather, I have been looking almost daily for your... Heather, I have been looking almost daily for your update since your surgery. I had tears from the first letter and past the last. You are an amazing woman Heather Hickey and I continue to think of you daily and pray for your health. Knot Soon Enough 08 - Gone Wild 2010-10-29T10:04:18.615-07:00 Heather, Your journey takes my breath away.I canno... Heather, Your journey takes my breath away.I cannot begin to imagine what an ordeal this has been and, as a nurse let me apologize for all my thoughtless,rude, &non compassionate sisters. Id like to smack them:) But you are the winner Heddy and will come out of this,healed,well and the best example of courage and inspiration I have ever seen. We are keeping you close in thoughts & prayers every day; remember..if you need me please. Hope to see you in the new HEALTHY year! Love, Anne (aka Jenny's Mom:} Anne Church 2010-10-29T03:21:40.140-07:00 Heather, you're incredible! Your surgery and ... Heather, you're incredible! Your surgery and ordeal at MSK sounds downright terrifying and I am so proud of you for coming out of it all with your ever-inspired attitude. I wish I could come by and visit with you but I'm down in V.B. indefinitely. Sending you lots of love and prayers each day. Hope to see you down here very soon!! - Shanaphy Anonymous 2011-01-12T17:04:20.367-08:00 MAY GOD LAY SOME OF YOUR RECOVERY PAIN ON MY SHOUL... MAY GOD LAY SOME OF YOUR RECOVERY PAIN ON MY SHOULDERS IT WOULD BE AN HONOR TO CARRY IT FOR YOU.

Capt. Pete fulton,HILTON HEAD SC Anonymous 2010-10-04T09:30:57.755-07:00 You will do GREAT! You have been such an inspirat... You will do GREAT! You have been such an inspiration and have been so positive throughout this process! In a matter of months, you are going to be better than new. Keep smiling, it is contagious! Be strong. Lots of love, hugs & prayers. A Broad Abroad 2010-10-04T06:41:58.612-07:00 Heather: You are a truly amazing woman! It was... Heather: You are a truly amazing woman! It was such a pleasure meeting you at the fund raiser. I am a friend of your mother's - we worked together at First Reserve - and now I'm proud to be a friend of yours. If prayers are any help in getting you through this awful time, you will be fine. Both my husband and I are praying for you everyday. I know you will be OK! Be strong beautiful lady. Better times are ahead.
With love,
Barbara & Matt Canzoneri Anonymous 2010-09-24T21:01:07.556-07:00 Hi Heather, I admire your guts & grace. Keep t... Hi Heather, I admire your guts & grace. Keep those spirits up!

xo Lucy Corner Anonymous 2010-09-15T19:03:26.376-07:00 Hey it's Michelle. It's my first time read... Hey it's Michelle. It's my first time reading your blog, very cool. I'm sure your results will be positive. You're in my heart and prayers everyday. See you soon! Michelle Fry Smith 2010-09-13T09:31:07.321-07:00 I didn't even know you had this site -- ill be... I didn't even know you had this site -- ill be checking it more often. Dave and I are looking foward to Thursday. We love you. - Jill Anonymous 2010-08-31T14:48:22.048-07:00 You are such an inspiration. I am sure that your p... You are such an inspiration. I am sure that your positive attitude and determination has contributed tremendously to the outcome of your treatment.

Shar Anonymous 2010-10-28T09:06:13.288-07:00 Hi, I My name is Jamie kimball, and i'm a good... Hi, I My name is Jamie kimball, and i'm a good friend to Ashley B. and am a two time cancer survivor myself. i was reading your blog and just want you to know if there is anything you need to know or talk about with someone thats been through it im always here. email me anytime at, When i was going through treatment in NY i would sometimes drink ginger tea or something with ginger in it. its supposed to help reduce nausa if you take it three days in a row before treatment. keep your spirits up and your head high, positive thinking is what helps the most, even when you think its the hardest thing ever!! Feel better, i hope the egg goes away soon :) sincerely James Kimball Anonymous 2010-10-27T19:07:12.495-07:00 Hope you're feeling stronger every day Heather... Hope you're feeling stronger every day Heather! What an insane ride you've been on. 1 day at a time. Sending you lots of love from the west coast! xx Lucy Corner Lucy 2010-07-23T21:59:06.711-07:00 I think of you daily and am proudly sporting the p... I think of you daily and am proudly sporting the purple bracelet. I read your posts and am consistently amazed by your strength. It is amazing and most generous of you to spare the valuable energy it takes to share and update everyone. Lyme is nothing in comparison to what you are conquering. However, I do know chronic pain doesn't just hurt it makes days/nights/life feel like one big dark cloud. Just remember - every day that passes and you conquer is one day closer to victory, feeling good and being cancer free. Tackle each day and you will win. You are going to win. Hang in there. You can do it.

Owen and Lisa are pulling and praying for you. Anonymous 2010-07-23T09:49:55.329-07:00 Heather, my heart aches for you in your down time ... Heather, my heart aches for you in your down time .. you're such a fighter. I check your site as often as I can to keep up on your progress. I dont know if I could put up the fight that you are ... you're such an inspiration.

Sheila Knot Soon Enough 08 - Gone Wild 2010-07-22T16:10:27.937-07:00 Hed, I've admired you since the day I met you.... Hed, I've admired you since the day I met you. Seriously, you impressed me upon day one with how giving, funny, smart, goofy, and beautiful you are. A treasure, is how I thought and think of you. I am lucky to know you.
And then, there you go this past weekend, making me not only remember why I loved you to begin with, but showing me why I should admire and respect you even more.
I can, without hesitation, say you're the strongest person I know. I'm not sure if you realize it, but you are incredibly resilient and one to admire. I am not 1/100th as strong (understatement) and I guess, perhaps, this is how you're beating this thing. With grace and spirit and honesty. I give credit where it's due, believe me. And you deserve these words, and so, so much more.
I should have told you in person, and I'm sorry. I'm not good at that.
You're an amazing woman, Heddy. I'm so sorry this is such a tough road on your way to recovery, but you will do it. I have not one single doubt. You are incredible and I love you so much.
Jen JennyCB 2010-07-22T08:51:18.835-07:00 We're by your side, Heather!!!! Keep fighting... We're by your side, Heather!!!! Keep fighting!!!
xxoo A Broad Abroad 2010-07-21T16:40:10.384-07:00 We may only see each other once in a great while b... We may only see each other once in a great while but since middle school I have cherished being your friend. I was always excited when Magurns would come home b/c I knew we would be hanging out more =)
Your laughter is contagious and your smile can brighten up any room!
You have shown why people are so drawn to you now more than ever. Your strength, positive attitude and the will to beat this are incredible. It has to be amazing how much you are helping other people get through their own difficult time just by trying to get through your own.(Did that make sense?
I am looking forward to the day I can tell my family and friends that Heather Hickey beat the unthinkable and all the while kept a sparkle in her eye & in our hearts.
I love you Heather and will forever be here for you.
Love Always Anna <3 Anna 2010-07-21T04:42:10.331-07:00 ¡Ánimo Heather! xxoo ¡Ánimo Heather! xxoo A Broad Abroad 2010-07-14T06:53:50.079-07:00 Heather, I was so happy to hear the fantastic prog... Heather,
I was so happy to hear the fantastic progress that the scan revealed! This is such great news.
You are such an inspiration for the amount of strength you consistently display; I really look up to you for this.
Stay strong, you are doing great!
xoxo, Jackie Jacqueline 2010-07-10T20:16:30.210-07:00 courage , as we say in france, Heather! these resu... courage , as we say in france, Heather! these results are so promissing, that s exciting! it means that the power of will and love is endless! i wish i could have seen you at Margot last week, but unfortunately the timing was not optimal. lets catch up soon. in the meantime continue doing what you's working! big hugs. yannick yannick raynaud 2010-07-06T18:43:43.866-07:00 You are so beautiful in the new photo on your mast... You are so beautiful in the new photo on your masthead! And more importantly, your insides are becoming more beautiful by the moment. patty 2010-06-28T10:42:06.328-07:00 heddy...i imagine the magazines and candy that cat... heddy...i imagine the magazines and candy that cath and i brought you are long gone. im taking orders for delivery on or around July 9th-11th. Veggie burgers? SUGAR FREE candy? Whadaya say!? Let us know... Matt 2010-06-23T11:55:06.476-07:00 I love you, Heddy girl... Can't wait to see yo... I love you, Heddy girl...
Can't wait to see you next month and make potato salad and have Newport shadow hair together.
xoxox JennyCB 2010-06-15T16:19:02.675-07:00 So good to see you and Red...hope to see you guys ... So good to see you and Red...hope to see you guys again soon. You are amazing! xo Katie Douglass 2010-06-13T09:43:19.251-07:00 Heather I am thinking of you every day :) Your ol... Heather I am thinking of you every day :)

Your old pal from Gartner, Patty Travaglino patty 2010-06-09T20:53:22.045-07:00 Heather, I just read your last blog, which made... Heather,

I just read your last blog, which made me so sad. When I found out I had cancer, the worst thing was not knowng - you know that you need to just do this surgery and get rid of it - and you will. Just keep doing it - you are strong and you will beat this darn thing. I know you will. Love, June June 2010-06-09T17:04:56.231-07:00 Heather, You are rockin' it girl! Just remembe... Heather,
You are rockin' it girl! Just remember who's in charge here! :o)

When I was at the point of getting my scan results after 4 chemo treatments, I had a lot of friends and family competing for the role of accompanying me to hear the results. I was, of course, hopeful for good results, but also concerned that if they weren't good, I might fall apart. I decided the only person that I wanted with me that day was my Mom.

Please honor yourself and be selfish during this process. Choose the person YOU need to be there with you. Your friends and family will understand. This has to be about you.

Here was my blog entry when I got my scan results if you want to read:

Warmest regards,
Lisa Lisa (Stefanoff) 2010-06-09T11:19:32.407-07:00 Hi Heddy! Kacie made you a little present last nig... Hi Heddy!
Kacie made you a little present last night - I'll get it in the mail tomorrow to you (after I get the chance to add a little something from me too). You are doing so great! Keep it up!
The fighting spirit is infections. The more your friends and family motivate you to keep positive, strong and fight hard; the more they are motivated to continue sending you their positivity and strength. I hope your difficult days like yesterday fly by quickly. You'll be over this sooner than you think.
Fight on!!!
Love hugs and kisses,
Cindy Cindy Neely 2010-06-09T06:33:17.165-07:00 We are all only promised today, one day. Its what ... We are all only promised today, one day. Its what we do with it that matters. One day at a time Heather kill this thing.

Marc Marc Ryan 2010-06-06T20:06:20.360-07:00 Hi Heather, It's a beautiful shawl. Remember t... Hi Heather,
It's a beautiful shawl. Remember the love it was created with and you will be surrounded by its strength.

I thought I had left a previous comment via my mobile, but I think it never went here it is again...

This is going to be a life altering journey for you, and you will forever see things through more experienced eyes going forward. That is a gift. There are many people who never learn to live life fully. You now have that opportunity to live EVERY day to its most fulfilling outcome, because you've been reminded of how precious it all really is.

My advice for the day, for as you know, I am your self proclaimed doppelganger to begin the rest of your life NOW. Do not wait until "it's over". Do not hold your breath until you can see the light...Breathe deeply, right now. There is no better moment than right now.

Hugs from someone who's been there and has come out on the other side.
--Lisa Lisa (Stefanoff) 2010-06-07T20:10:58.893-07:00 i wish i could give you a few pounds to ease the p... i wish i could give you a few pounds to ease the pain (and for MY bikini season :)))))))))
Yannick yannick 2010-06-04T12:16:55.514-07:00 Dear PE, Stop bothering our Heddy. We love her ver... Dear PE,
Stop bothering our Heddy. We love her very much and you are being a real ass.

Dear Heddy,
I luff yew!
Miss you more than you know...
Jenny JennyCB 2010-06-02T11:43:05.913-07:00 hi heather and courtney, and anyone else reading, ... hi heather and courtney, and anyone else reading, my name's monica nista. i went to nchs ('97) with you heather and i just learned of your cancer this past weekend. i was at the beach house in old greenwich and the bartender, benji, upon my telling him that i went to nchs, asked if i knew the hickeys and i said of course. he then shared your story with me. i wanted to reach out and say how inspiring and moved i've been catching up on your blog posts. i know it can't mean much, getting a note from someone you barely knew growing up, but as someone who's watched a cousin (who i work with) battle breast cancer and work during and around her chemo treatments, i commend you and your bravery and positive outlook on life. it's so easy to get caught up in the small day-to-day bullshit, but you and other cancer fighters remind us that none of this matters. i look forward to following your updates. i'm moving to LA in a month or so and if you find yourself out there, let's please meet up. or even if you decide to come into the city over the next few weeks - i've been keeping my food blog of nyc restaurants over the past five years and i'll take you/direct you to the best spots. i've sort of fallen off the religious bandwagon since our days of emmaus ;) but i'll say a prayer for you and your family and friends and i'll most certainly be keeping you in my thoughts. f**k cancer, indeed, heather! - monica Mona 2010-05-28T08:45:55.358-07:00 Hi Heather, you may not know me, but I know your s... Hi Heather, you may not know me, but I know your sister Courtney. I am both very sorry to hear the news but also so inspired by your positive outlook and strength. You're an amazing person and I will continue to read this blog rooting for you all the way! XO and prayers! Sheila Teed Knot Soon Enough 08 - Gone Wild